June 2008
21 posts
"Quantum of Solace" Trailer a Quantum of Ass...
Who needs water in the desert when you have an assault rifle?
So at long last, the Quantum of Solace trailer has finally made it’s debut. But unlike previous Bond movies, this new film seems to be doing something different from almost all of it’s predecessors, it’s remembering what happened in the last film.
Most Bond girls are thrown away by the double-0 agent at the end of...
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REVIEW: Wanted
A Bloody Good Time
“Stop looking up my skirt and drive!”
Wanted is a strange case indeed, and the conundrum is demonstrated most clearly in the pulse-pounding trailer. At first it seems to be a straight Matrix rip-off, coming a few years too late, with a bit of Smokin’ Aces thrown in for good measure. There’s slow-motion bullet time, there’s obscenely impossible chase sequences and it...
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"Diablo 3" Announced, Told You So
About damn time.
So a few days ago I told you about the Blizzard splash screen that was causing fans to speculate what the company’s next big announcement would be. Well, it’s Diablo III and I think I speak for everyone when I say “Hallelujah, not another World of Warcraft expansion.”
Alright, first things first. Check out the screenshot gallery over on Joystiq which...
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"The Host 2" Coming Since Monsters Never Actually...
“And you all laughed when I took ten years of archery lessons!”
Have you seen The Host? Think Cloverfield minus J.J. Abrahm’s involvment, which equals a clear message, a cohesive plot and no shaky cam. The Korean film tackled the issues of pollution, disaster and government response in a low-budget monster movie that redefined the genre.
And because the movie was such a...
Kratos in "Soul Calibur IV"?
Cheer up man, you’re a video game legend now.
Rumor has it that everyone’s favorite disgrunteled God of War, Kratos, is the latest addition to an already bizzare cast of bonus Soul Calibur IV characters. Though it currently stands as just a rumor, it’s easy to see how the Ghost of Sparta could fit into the SC lineup with his wicked flaming swords-on-chains and his distaste for...
Steve Carrell Signs On for Three More Years of...
You write down a number…and slide it over to me on the table. That’s how these things work.
I heard this from Perez Hilton of all places, but apparently Ricky Gervais is reporting on his blog that Steve Carrell has just penned a contract with NBC that says he’ll be Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton for at least the next three years. Upon hearing this news I breathed...
"Halo 3" Players Kill Earth's Entire Population
Another one bites the dust.
Over on Bungie forums, an observant gamer has pointed out that the total killcount in Halo 3 now exceeds earth’s entire population:
- USNC Campaign Kill Count: 6,768,772,806
- World Population Estimate: 6,705,847,789
Damn. I’m not exactly sure what this means, but I’m pretty ceratin it has to do with the impending apocalypse of all mankind.
...
REVIEW: Devil May Cry 4
If Swan Lake had Swords
“Call me ‘kid’…one more time.”
It’s been seven years since the first Devil May Cry introduced us to a man-demon named Dante wielding both pistols and a broadsword. Since then, the franchise has revolutionized combat in action games, and has spawned numerous successful copycats, most notably the award-winning God of War franchise. After a...
New Blizzard Splash Screen Mystifies
It’s so….pretty….must….touch
This is the current splash page when you go to Blizzard.com. What is it, exactly? That remains to be seen, but some are speculating that it’s an announcment for Starcraft II, Diablo III, or World of Warcraft Collector’s Edition. Dear God please don’t be that last one.
We all know that Starcraft II is coming out reasonably...
Thomas Jane Really, Really Wants to Be Jonah Hex
Crystal Meth addiction was heartbreaking in the Old West as well.
This is a photo that’s been circulating around the web for a few days now, causing speculation that Tom Jane of Punisher fame (rhyme!) had been cast as DC Comic’s disfigured cowboy Jonah Hex in the upcoming film. The reality? Turns out Tommy is just a fanboy like the rest of us.
“Yeah, the pic is real all right...
REVIEW: The Incredible Hulk
Maybe Third Time’s the Charm
“Hulk smash puny critics!”
The Hulk has had it pretty rough. Not only is he a giant green monster who can’t find a 10-XL shirt to save his life, but now he has not one, but two terrible movies chronicling his heroics and failings. Ang Lee’s cartoonish Hulk was widely acclaimed to be a disaster, but now its remake/sequel The Incredible Hulk might in...
"Dark Knight" MySpace Page Offers Sweepstakes,...
Forward this to ten people or the Joker will slit your throat at midnight.
I forgot that people used MySpace about a month or so after I deleted my account. Apparently one of my friends who looked like a hot chick, but was really an evil robot from the future hijacked my account and started posting spam on all my friends walls asking if they wanted to “enlarge” themselves. They in...
New "Halo Wars" Screenshots Make You Ask "Why?"
Wow, that looks so…well, pretty terrible actually.
I’m not exactly sure why Halo felt like it had to try and go make a Starcraft game. Maybe one day they looked around and realized they had completely ripped off the three races of Starcraft (Terran/Human, Protross/Covenant, Zerg/Flood) and they just decided to run with it.
In any case, this screenshot gallery looks pretty shitty...
"Ong Bak 2" Trailer Will Unsurprisingly Kick Your...
Watch it here.
Now I know how to write “Ong Bak” in Thai. I’m sure that’ll come in handy.
So this is the first trailer for Ong Bak 2, and it looks insanely sweet as expected. The film looks to move beyond just Muai Thai fighting (as cool as it is) and expand into all styles, as the hero of the movie is said to be “the one” to “combine all martial arts styles into one.”...
REVIEW: The Happening
Astonishingly Bad, Epically Awful, Truly Terrible
This guy got off easy, you actually have to watch this thing.
It’s about forty-five minutes into “The Happening,” when you’re watching a man get his arms ripped off by lions on an iPhone, that the realization occurs to you: You’re watching one of the worst movies ever made. It’s almost a beautiful moment of enlightenment, that now you can release...
Lost "Indy 4" Script Unearthed, More Marion, Less...
“Don’t give me that look, you almost weren’t even in this movie.”
Now I’ve already stated that I thought Crystal Skull was a perfectly acceptable fourth installment in the Indy series, and that people need to stop bitching, but this latest bit of news is interesting nonetheless.
The script by Frank Darabont (Shawkshank, Green Mile) that was approved by Harrison...
"Punisher: War Zone" Trailer a Bloody Mess
Watch it here.
“Raaargh!! Who ran my skull shirt through the wash too many times?!”
So “Punisher: War Zone” has always been highly suspect, seeing that it has neither the direction, writing or star of the 2004 film. I actually liked that, despite the odd dancing numbers and Travolta being the lamest villain in comic book history. Tom Jane was a badass from head to toe,...
New "Street Fighter" Movie to be Ryu and Ken-less
I know I should post a picture of the missing duo, but Kristen Kreuk wins against two dudes in ripped robes every time.
This is rather disturbing news, if you’re one of the three people who actually has hope for the upcoming Street Fighter movie. According to the producers, the film, which focuses mainly on Chun-Li (played with uncharactaristic hotness by Smallville’s Kristen...
"Jay and Seth vs. the Apocalypse" Trailer Already...
“Hey remember that time Fox told us to fuck off, and now we’re all rich and famous?”
Alright, so I loved Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared way back in the day, but I have to say, I never looked at dough-boy Seth Rogen and said, “Yes, that guy is going to be a star.” But obviously now, we’ve all been proven wrong ever since his goofy mug graced the green...
"Call of Duty" Retreating Back to WWII
The ever popular “human shield” method of defense employed by the Allies in World War II
Just when it looked like the Call of Duty franchise was making an epic turn into greatness by bringing the series into modern times, they had to go and do this. That’s right, Treyarch is pulling a U-turn and hauling the series back to the bowels of World War II. The game will take place on...
REVIEW: Mario Kart Wii
Warning: Controller Hurling Ahead
Scene from “The Fast and the Furious: Mushroom Kingdom”
Don’t mess with success. That’s the formula that has kept Nintendo afloat since 1983, watching its competitors in the video game industry drop like flies over the years. They know what it is to create a great game, and then slowly improve it over time. The “Mario Kart” franchise is no...
